Thank You For The Relationship Goals: 6 Things Chandler and Monica Taught Us About Love
BY Bhakti Parekh | 03 Nov, 2023 | 919 views | 9 min read
While the world is grappling with the fact that an icon who portrayed one of the most beloved fictional characters, Chandler Bing on screen is no more, we can't help but reminisce or drown ourselves in tributes pouring in for the late Mathew Perry. Having regaled us with countless laughs and nonchalant memories, the cult 90's show, F.R.I.E.N.D.S. remains popular even today for myriad reasons.
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From cathedrals around the world to our TV screens back home, the title track, "I'll Be There For You" has made its omnipresence felt over the past weekend and how! And, as I sit here, re-watching episodes of this SITCOM for what seems like the hundredth time, I can't help but reiterate how Chandler was my favorite character throughout the series because of what he shared with his lobster, his Monica! A realistic take on love and commitment, while they were an unusual pairing, they just clicked and exuded goals as the seasons and their love story progressed.
An eternal love story in the truest regard, here's how the Bing's, famously credited with the acronym, #MONDLER redefined what true love and togetherness stand for. As Monica rightly proclaims, "Welcome to an adult relationship!". Read on to know what makes their relationship an inspiration for today's youth.
A Love Like Theirs: 6 Lessons that This Couple Taught Us About Love & Marriage
Ask anyone which F.R.I.E.N.D.S couple they adore at different stages of their lives, and more often than not, you'd probably see their answers evolving. While Ross and Rachel always found their way back to each other during this show, it was Monica and Chandler whose love for one another only grew deeper, organically over time, and we, the viewers were witness to their touching testament of heartwarming and humorous moments. Throughout the show, they taught us how to build a rock-solid foundation for a love-glazed relationship, whilst imparting the OG ideals of enjoying life with your soulmate. Here are the lessons that I will definitely remember about them!
Be Friends First; Lovers Later
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Personifying Hollywood's answer to our legendary Bollywood philosophy, "Pyaar Dosti Hain" (thanks to Kuch Kuch Hota Hain), didn't Mondler just exemplify this theory so beautifully? Absolutely yes! They had open communication, trust, shared values, interest, and humor- facets that were the spellbinding hallmarks of their equation, allowing them to navigate their struggles and victories with ease.
Being friends allowed them to embrace their quirks and be real with each other, enabling them to develop a relationship filled with profound emotional connection, apart from their tantalizing sexual chemistry. In fact, what I absolutely loved about them is that they decided to figure out their feelings amongst each other before breaking it to the rest of the group (Well, didn't they find that out and how! Nonetheless, this definitely garnered more respect for them!) As someone who's on the stroke of entering her 30s, I believe that love should be enduring, fulfilling, and incredibly exceptional- all, of which this gorgeous couple lived for! A beacon of hope for all forms of love, Joey couldn't have presented a more fitting, yet endearing homage as they took their vows of marriage: "It is a love based on giving and receiving as well as having and sharing...", and therefore no "two more perfect people" could come together. Awww, right!
Accept Your Partner For Who They Are
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From Monica being the overly competitive, obsessive freak to Chandler being awkward and inappropriately sarcastic, making fun of everyone around, I absolutely love how these two people embraced their quirky individualities and their partners completely, not compelling the other to change. Unlike the cool kids in high school, who often put on a facade, Mondler was authentic and unabashedly seamlessly blended their souls, making them each other's yin and yang.
Knowing exactly what they were getting into, Chandler was well aware that his better half had a high need for self-control and was obsessed with the idea of marriage and kids, whilst Monica accepted his lack of experience and childhood trauma when it came to love and relationships. For someone who was commitment-phobic, Chandler had no difficulty falling in love with Monica as the latter allowed him the time and space to open up and be vulnerable with her. Supporting each other unflinchingly, Monica's gratifying euphony shows the power of finding the one, ""I know we're good together. I know we have something that people dream about, and I feel so lucky." Throughout the trajectory of their relationship and then marriage, these two characters really depicted how love can help you grow and transform unexpectedly. In their case, something marvelous definitely arose from their weirdness.
A Healthy Relationship and Marriage Is Not Always a Rosy Fairytale
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Well, Well! Monica said it is as is, didn't she? Marriage is full of ups and downs, but if you're sure that you have the right person by your side, you will learn to accommodate each other's unique characteristics and circumstances, and enjoy this journey of togetherness. Life is a rollercoaster, but epitomizing the adage, " You're the Chandler to My Monica", this couple made us pine for what they have in real life! A relatable portrayal of adulting together, they celebrated numerous milestones and braved several obstacles with each other's unwavering support.
From Chandler willingly relinquishing his savings to give his lady love her dream wedding after voicing his differing views on the same to Monica encouraging him to quit his high-paying job and follow his passion while doing long-distance, they ensured that they respected each other's personal needs and happiness, manifold! Narrating one such example, over ten seasons, this uplifting nature of theirs really mesmerized us all! Uff sounds too good to be true!
Efforts and Gestures Matter
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Yes, Chandler wasn't the quintessential, emotionally available guy when we first set our eyes on him, but with Monica by his side, he metamorphosed as the go-to inspiration for being the ideal partner! And, seeing this passionate, scene tears me up a little every single time! Genuine and intimate with candles enveloping us in an air of warmth and tenderness, this proposal is all goals!! With Monica taking the lead and guiding Chandler to ace this milestone in their lives, here's an important lesson for all you women out there- break the stereotypical notion, and go behind what you want if you feel that person is worth it! While he actively kept the spark alive and supported his wife through a job loss or her inability to naturally have children, Chandler surely made the idea of having someone to come back to alluring.
Be it Monica matching his crazy and dancing with a turkey on her head to apologize when he found out about a mishap to working on himself, and being her comfort and sharing responsibilities, Chandler's character is a magnificent testament to a balanced partnership.
Lastly, speaking of efforts, let's not forget about their endeavours in keeping the passionate spark of their relationship alive (oh hello, mood lighting and the Christmas surprise from Tulsa).
Transitioning into Your Forever
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First of all, can we just take a moment to relive their enchanting nuptials and those enticing vows? From Chandler experiencing cold feet to the other cast members' drama, this moment, hands down, goes down in history as a glorious triumph of two imperfect individuals becoming one. As Monica acknowledges vulnerably, her tryst of turning to a friend for comfort proved to be the best decision of her life, and she ended up finding everything that she was looking for her "prince, soulmate and friend", it is Chandler's honest and heart-tugging response that touches us all!
"I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I was ever going to have to do, but when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it is. I love you. Any surprise that comes along the way is OK because I will always love you."
Leaving me short of words at this awe-inspiring moment, as an ardent fan of this show, I, too, like many others cried and rejoiced with them as they embarked on a new chapter in their lives! And, to Chandler Bing- a big thank you! Living up to his vows, he really did raise the bar for all good men out there.
Parenthood and Beyond
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Omgg, this tear-jerking montage really makes us all want our real-life Chandler's! Am I right or am I right!? An impetuously, sentimental montage, this moment testified once again that Chandler has come a long way, and is willing to move mountains for the "incredible woman" in his life- his wife who he loves more than anything else in this world. From readily agreeing to adopt when they realized that they couldn't naturally conceive to even lying and then delivering the most emotional speech of the show, Monica and Chandler were lucky to find each other. And while Monica was always overflowing with maternal instincts, Chandler, too unknowingly had that overarching side to him (I mean, how can we forget his uninhibited support towards Joey without expecting much in return).
Be it tending to and taking care of Erica, the woman whose baby(ies) they were going to adopt to adapting to the surprise of taking back home twins after Monica exclaims, "We only ordered one", Monica and Chandler's family is complete after an initial pang of shock! From then on as the series comes to an end, we are sure that these two quirky, yet lovable individuals are going to make amazing parents.
Leaving us with an affectionate, fuzzy feelings in our hearts, I can't help but concluding this piece with another striking reality of life as quoted by Monica, "I don't think you and I were destined to end up together. I think that, we fell in love and work hard at our relationship. Some days we work really hard."
A refreshing perspective to exude, do you believe in the same?
