Wedding Fights You'll Definitely Have and How to Avoid Them!
BY The WMG Bride | 11 Jan, 2016 | 2708 views | 7 min read
As a fairly new bride, I can vouch for one thing- planning a wedding is way more hectic than you can imagine, no matter how simple or lavish the wedding. It is something that can definitely send people (read: mostly the bride) over the edge! So that means arguments and fights with near and not dear ones can happen almost over anything and everything!
Here are some fights you'll definitely have in the run up to the wedding, and ways to avoid them!
The dates have been decided, and you're super excited for the wedding. But there's just one catch...you haven't mustered the guts to ask for leave yet. Yes, one of the first few fights or awkwardness you'll have is at the workplace when you go to ask your boss for leave. No matter how important or unimportant your work is, asking for leave for your own shaadi becomes such a task! My boss definitely looked at me like I'd asked him for a kidney. And worse, he/she will roll the eyes when you say honeymoon - the farther the location of your honeymoon and the worse, those eyerolls get.
Tackle it: Be smart, dear bride! You can avoid this awkwardness by just approaching your boss with a card. Invite him or her to the wedding, and then ask for leave. Tell him it's important to have a month off - but work will be done before-hand and reassure him that you have left no unanswered client mails and duties. A good reassurance and a weeks work before-hand is going to make you his favourite and do all of it #likeaboss.
"I wearing pink" she says, happily and you have to tell her it will clash with your Anshree Reddy lehenga. Red? It might be almost the same as your mehendi outfit. She wants Sabya and you think you don't want his benarasi collection to be seen on her before you. Now sisters fighting over clothes? Totally acceptable. But when it's your wedding, she's got to understand. Right? Right?
Tackle it: Make sure to give your younger siblings extra attention and some tender loving care before your big day and explain nicely that you can adjust but only a little - colours can't clash and embroideries and designer clothes cannot be the same. But give her choices that will make her happy - Payal Singhal crop top or a new-age palazzo or even a nice sheer sari. Well-explained is half-done.
You send your bro out for the right flexi. He brings it and you think it's done badly. Marigolds are not marigold-y enough and he forgot to buy you ear buds when he went out for the nth time. And suddenly, your brother loses it and calls you ungrateful. Now, who's at fault?
Tackle it: Write down all errands and give it to him once and for all. Talk to him more often and don't only instruct him on things-to-do. Understand that you are not a diva and he's not your chamcha. Sit down with him and have a chat - maybe get him that nice underwater camera beforehand to bribe him.
I had an argument with my mom before the wedding because she felt that the blouse for my engagement ceremony was 'too revealing'. My mother, who has never said anything to me about what I wore or did not wear had an issue with the designs for my blouses, especially those which I had to wear for the wedding ceremonies... after all, 'in-laws kya kahenge????' or "our respect is gone" or "aunty will surely see your swimsuit pic on FB" etc etc.
Tackle it: When you go to place the order for the blouses, take your mom along. Not only do mothers like it when you take their opinion, they can voice their concerns right there and then before the blouse is made rather than after. Explain to her gently that it's your day and the length of your blouse will be the last thing people will discuss - and oh, make sure your blouse stays sexy not tacky. That's all that matters in the end, not the amount of skin.
You know how they show brides fighting for wedding dresses in some sitcoms? It actually happened to a friend of mine, minus the beating up. She picked a lehenga at a boutique and tried it on, and when everyone found it gorgeous, another wannabe bride came up and claimed that she picked it first and that's why it was out in the first place! It led to a verbal argument, and when the store people who had initially claimed that it was the 'exclusive only piece' told my friend that they would make another copy for her, she walked out. Don't think the other bride picked it either!
Tackle it: Take your friends or sister along when you go for trials and make them guard what you like with their lives! It's a bride-eat-bride world out there, especially when it comes to 'exclusive designer stuff'. If you like something - tell the store bhaiyya to keep it aside for you.
Yes, we are talking about the ones who know so many 'riti-riwaz', that you start suspecting that maybe they're making up some of them! I remember having an argument with my Nani when I said I would not wear the toe rings (which are so uncomfortable!!) beyond a few hours, and with my Bua when she mentioned that I should give her 'good news' within the first year! Yes, for them the wedding has to be done the old-fashioned way and only to make babies!
Tackle it: No way around this really, except putting your foot down, respectfully! Or just do things to make them happy (by that I don't mean the baby!). Also, don't stress - smile and wave like those penguins in Madagascar!
There will be so many fights with the guy you're marrying in the run up to the wedding, that it is hard to narrow down the reasons! It could be anything- right from discussing the engagement ring or honeymoon to inviting the ex or just plain cold feet! A friend of mine and her fiancé fought over the fact that he was going to a more 'exotic' destination for his Bachelor party as compared to the honeymoon! So yeah... basically it can be anything!
Tackle it: Just keep it clear, that's all we can advice! Miscommunication before the wedding can lead to issues later as well, especially when it comes to arranged marriages. So be open about issues and have a relationship where you can discuss everything- even cold feet!
So your wedding planner just added a mere 5 lakhs to your budget. And your lehenga cost went up by 30 per cent because you want that extra back-up blouse. And you want to go round-the-world for your honeymoon. And you're smiling but your dad seems to be having smoke come out of his ears. Yeah, dads are the most annoyed on your wedding week.
Tackle it: Don't add extra costs in the last minute. And be reasonable - he's paying for it doesn't mean, he is invincible - he has budgets, he is borrowing money, he's emptying out his hardwork. So all those extra things you wanted? Offer to do it at your own cost.
Your BFF is never on time for your mehendi. She's out flirting with boys from the "other" side without spending too much time with you. And yet again, she went off to have a drink with your phone in her clutch. Grrrrrrr.......
Tackle it: Before the wedding, talk gently to her about what you want her to do and discuss involvements to the T. Appreciate her presence and tell her she has to take care of herself and you all through the wedding week.
Written by Sakshi Saxena
Here are some fights you'll definitely have in the run up to the wedding, and ways to avoid them!
Leave / honeymoon fight with your boss
The dates have been decided, and you're super excited for the wedding. But there's just one catch...you haven't mustered the guts to ask for leave yet. Yes, one of the first few fights or awkwardness you'll have is at the workplace when you go to ask your boss for leave. No matter how important or unimportant your work is, asking for leave for your own shaadi becomes such a task! My boss definitely looked at me like I'd asked him for a kidney. And worse, he/she will roll the eyes when you say honeymoon - the farther the location of your honeymoon and the worse, those eyerolls get.
Tackle it: Be smart, dear bride! You can avoid this awkwardness by just approaching your boss with a card. Invite him or her to the wedding, and then ask for leave. Tell him it's important to have a month off - but work will be done before-hand and reassure him that you have left no unanswered client mails and duties. A good reassurance and a weeks work before-hand is going to make you his favourite and do all of it #likeaboss.
The "You cannot buy the same sari" fight with your sister
"I wearing pink" she says, happily and you have to tell her it will clash with your Anshree Reddy lehenga. Red? It might be almost the same as your mehendi outfit. She wants Sabya and you think you don't want his benarasi collection to be seen on her before you. Now sisters fighting over clothes? Totally acceptable. But when it's your wedding, she's got to understand. Right? Right?
Tackle it: Make sure to give your younger siblings extra attention and some tender loving care before your big day and explain nicely that you can adjust but only a little - colours can't clash and embroideries and designer clothes cannot be the same. But give her choices that will make her happy - Payal Singhal crop top or a new-age palazzo or even a nice sheer sari. Well-explained is half-done.
The brother fight because...too many errands
You send your bro out for the right flexi. He brings it and you think it's done badly. Marigolds are not marigold-y enough and he forgot to buy you ear buds when he went out for the nth time. And suddenly, your brother loses it and calls you ungrateful. Now, who's at fault?
Tackle it: Write down all errands and give it to him once and for all. Talk to him more often and don't only instruct him on things-to-do. Understand that you are not a diva and he's not your chamcha. Sit down with him and have a chat - maybe get him that nice underwater camera beforehand to bribe him.
The "Log Kya Kahenge" fight with your mommy
I had an argument with my mom before the wedding because she felt that the blouse for my engagement ceremony was 'too revealing'. My mother, who has never said anything to me about what I wore or did not wear had an issue with the designs for my blouses, especially those which I had to wear for the wedding ceremonies... after all, 'in-laws kya kahenge????' or "our respect is gone" or "aunty will surely see your swimsuit pic on FB" etc etc.
Tackle it: When you go to place the order for the blouses, take your mom along. Not only do mothers like it when you take their opinion, they can voice their concerns right there and then before the blouse is made rather than after. Explain to her gently that it's your day and the length of your blouse will be the last thing people will discuss - and oh, make sure your blouse stays sexy not tacky. That's all that matters in the end, not the amount of skin.
The "I want this lehenga" fight with the 'Other' bride
You know how they show brides fighting for wedding dresses in some sitcoms? It actually happened to a friend of mine, minus the beating up. She picked a lehenga at a boutique and tried it on, and when everyone found it gorgeous, another wannabe bride came up and claimed that she picked it first and that's why it was out in the first place! It led to a verbal argument, and when the store people who had initially claimed that it was the 'exclusive only piece' told my friend that they would make another copy for her, she walked out. Don't think the other bride picked it either!
Tackle it: Take your friends or sister along when you go for trials and make them guard what you like with their lives! It's a bride-eat-bride world out there, especially when it comes to 'exclusive designer stuff'. If you like something - tell the store bhaiyya to keep it aside for you.
Random "sanskaari" fights with Nanis, Dadis, Buas and Chachis
Yes, we are talking about the ones who know so many 'riti-riwaz', that you start suspecting that maybe they're making up some of them! I remember having an argument with my Nani when I said I would not wear the toe rings (which are so uncomfortable!!) beyond a few hours, and with my Bua when she mentioned that I should give her 'good news' within the first year! Yes, for them the wedding has to be done the old-fashioned way and only to make babies!
Tackle it: No way around this really, except putting your foot down, respectfully! Or just do things to make them happy (by that I don't mean the baby!). Also, don't stress - smile and wave like those penguins in Madagascar!
Every damn fight with your fiancé
There will be so many fights with the guy you're marrying in the run up to the wedding, that it is hard to narrow down the reasons! It could be anything- right from discussing the engagement ring or honeymoon to inviting the ex or just plain cold feet! A friend of mine and her fiancé fought over the fact that he was going to a more 'exotic' destination for his Bachelor party as compared to the honeymoon! So yeah... basically it can be anything!
Tackle it: Just keep it clear, that's all we can advice! Miscommunication before the wedding can lead to issues later as well, especially when it comes to arranged marriages. So be open about issues and have a relationship where you can discuss everything- even cold feet!
The "costs are up" fight with your dad
So your wedding planner just added a mere 5 lakhs to your budget. And your lehenga cost went up by 30 per cent because you want that extra back-up blouse. And you want to go round-the-world for your honeymoon. And you're smiling but your dad seems to be having smoke come out of his ears. Yeah, dads are the most annoyed on your wedding week.
Tackle it: Don't add extra costs in the last minute. And be reasonable - he's paying for it doesn't mean, he is invincible - he has budgets, he is borrowing money, he's emptying out his hardwork. So all those extra things you wanted? Offer to do it at your own cost.
"Make it in time" fight with your BFF, Plus a few other things
Your BFF is never on time for your mehendi. She's out flirting with boys from the "other" side without spending too much time with you. And yet again, she went off to have a drink with your phone in her clutch. Grrrrrrr.......
Tackle it: Before the wedding, talk gently to her about what you want her to do and discuss involvements to the T. Appreciate her presence and tell her she has to take care of herself and you all through the wedding week.
Written by Sakshi Saxena 
